In the Japanese culture they say that people have three faces : one of them you show in society, another one in front of your family/close friends, and the last one is only known by you.
Okay, there might be some exceptions for the third one. You know , that kind of situation when someone knows you better than yourself. It often happens when parents see their child’s potential and talents before he discovers them. Is it possible? From my experience, well yes.
Sadly, this constant desperate effort to appear someone else in front of people who we’d like to be approved by is actually made by the most of us. And we are also very good at hiding it. It’s true that we do almost everything to avoid social rejection… because we’re humans and we’re social beings after all (even the antisocial people out there *waves* it’s okay, I’m one of you.) We often need ”validation” so we can think better about ourselves, because let’s be real, we are all some soft lil’ innocent cinnamon rolls inside. During this”chameleon” process we tend to forget and not accept our true traits, obliterating them, thinking that this is not what the outside world wants.
And it’s sad.
Although it’s true that we can’t really show our inner person to everybody (like a shopkeeper asking you how your day is going and you start complaining about your childhood traumas ), it’s important not to let people like or even love (not only in the romantic way) the fake version you want to reflect in front of them. It sucks. For you and that person. And it’s not worth it. Trying so hard to connect with someone who you’re not simply compatible with has no point because eventually this will become obvious and things will be more and more difficult until you really say ”It’s over”. And as more time passes the more you both get hurt.
And what do I mean by saying ”compatible” with a person? Listening to the same music, watching the same movies and even having the same religious beliefs are not relevant. Actually, the relationships between two opposites (and I repeat, not especially between lovers) are more dynamic and full of life, as long as they’re trying to understand each other and not jump right into criticism . Also, what it’s crucial for a special connection is that first sight sparkle, which it’s inexplicable . It has nothing to do with physical attraction, it’s just that random intuitive thought ”Oh I think we’ll get along ”.
Or not. It actually happened to me to HATE a few people in the beginning and to gradually see that they’re not that horrible. Later they became important in my life. Anything is possible.
I think I got a little far from the subject, so let’s come back. I find it disappointing when two people who would really understand each other refuse to take off their masks because of their fears and overthinking due to social rejection .
I believe that when two people are meant to be friends or lovers or whatever , actions and words come naturally. You don’t freak out over a simple text, you don’t worry about your appearance because you feel comfortable around him/her and especially with who you are.
These people help you learn who you are, because they bring out your awesome parts you’ve hidden to the surface, ooor the bad qualities you have to repair (which you didn’t even know you had. Cool, right?)
Save and express your energy to the ones who appreciate you in all your forms.
You deserve the best because your inner sparkle is unique . Actually, we all sparkle, it’s up to us to see that.
Stay yourself ❤